Kinshasa Couples' Conference Feb. 12-18, 2013

One of our great desires has been to get all the couples in our mission together just one time. They live in three different countries and four different cities.  It required two new visas, and two or three days of travel for the couple farthest from Kinshasa.  It would require a four-hour drive, then an airline flight and  a boat crossing of the Congo for one of  the couples who live in the outlying areas.  We just didn't think that it would happen and were hesitant to spend mission funds to bring them or to ask them to pay to come.  Then, the finance people in the area office asked us to have a training session for all those who do finances in our mission. That included our couples from the outlying areas. So, we had to bring the couples here and thus we planned a couples' conference in conjunction with the financial training.  We were so excited that it could happen.  All of our couples were here together for a week and for us it was a glorious time together.

Left to Right- Bybee- public affairs, Whitesides- MLS Yaoundé, Gailey- MLS Douala, Jameson,
Smith- office, Wheatley-Pointe Noire, Moon-humanitarian, Billings construction program

The  Kinshasa couples took two of the outlying area couples into their homes and helped with food and transport. We had the Whitsides stay with us. It was only possible to do this conference because of the kindness, generosity and support of the couples who welcomed the guests into their home and  transported them to everything. They were wonderful hosts.

We were on our way home from Johannesburg when the couples' financial training began. Emily Sehlolo. She's a great young lady from South Africa and did excellent training in our home.  It was a good training and we just hope that IMOS will allow us to do our finances that way, even with our less than wonderful internet band width and off-again-on again power. Training was done on Wednesday and Thursday, but the ladies played hooky on Thursday afternoon to attend to more important things, since the men were basically in charge of the finance work for which they were doing training. 

One of the things that is hardest about serving in a place like ours is finding somebody to cut, perm, color, style  your hair. Not a lot of good stylists for Caucasian hair where we live.Recently Chantal, our French friend, introduced me to Georges, the hair stylist.  So, I took the sisters from the outlying cities for an afternoon of pampering at the salon. 

 All the sisters got their hair cut and styled and they felt  like they'd had a make-over and been well pampered before their big date with their husbands at the Valentine's Day dinner. It was a fun outing that these hard working sisters really deserved and enjoyed!

Three lovely ladies ready for a night on the town. 

                           

Thursday  was Valentine's and we got our conference started as we held a Sweetheart party for all the couples in the mission home.We dressed everything up in Red and White and had a fun evening together. 

 After our special Valentine's Day meal we played the Newly Wed game.  Most of our couples have been married for more than 40 years, but two are pretty newly wed, married in the last 10 years. It didn't seem to make much difference how long we'd been married. We all knew and didn't know important things about our spouses and had a good time laughing about it. 

 It was a festive evening and a great kick off for our conference. We began our conference by focusing on one of the four aspects of LOVE, which formed the theme of our Conference. This Love of Your Companion is needed if any missionary companionship is going to succeed and must be our first priority. Nothing needs nurturing more on a mission that your love for your eternal companion. 

Friday we met early in the morning and introduced our theme of Love.  We presented the four kinds of love that are important as a missionary. We hope that our activities showed through the week these four kinds of love- Love for your companion. Love for the Lord, Love for the people we serve and Love for our mission.  I told them about some things that I heard in our mission presidents' seminar that have changed my life.  We  talked about loving our mission. They emphasized that we need to not just love it "in the rear-view mirror." We need to love it as we live it. We'll be blessed to see and treasure the good things that happen while we're still having this mission experience. It touched me and I think that we need to do the same thing in life.  Love life as we live it and not just "in the rear-view mirror."  Then I encouraged them to look for daily miracles that the Lord gives us, even to write them down daily.  If we look for them we'll see daily miracles, both large and small, that occur every day of our lives. If we can do these two things, we will Love our missions and our lives. Being together was really fun. We visited, laughed and generally enjoyed ourselves. Elder Whitesides did get a little exuberant at one point and had to be strictly gotten under control.

Then we talked about each of our assignments and a little about ourselves and those we love back home. 

After that we headed out on a field trip with the Billings, who do the construction program. We wanted to see what their special assignment is all about.  We went to a place where students are learning how to hand make bricks for future construction of church buildings. They're also building a little office and storage facility for the brick making project.
Two of our missionaries from Lubumbashi were among those who are learning skills and making progress toward having good jobs. It's such a joy to see them succeeding.



President (yes, that's his given name) Kabengele was one of the young students who helped us make bricks. He was our first assistant in Lubumbashi. Now he's married and his first child was actually born the evening of our visit to the job site.


First, he showed us how to make the brick. He made it look so simple.

 To make your brick you fill the mold with a mixture of sand and dirt and a little water. Then you tamp it down just right and then carefully lift the form making sure not to twist, turn or lean in any direction.

We saw the bricks drying in the sun and it looked like it would be easy just to fill the form, tamp it and Voila--a brick.

So,  Brent tried his hand at it.  It wasn't as easy as they made it look.

 Brent's brick turned into.... a pile of sand, and dirt.
We teased President that we hoped  we'd taught him better when he was a missionary than he'd taught us today to be a brick maker.  Several people tried their hand, but nobody succeeded.













 I finally said that I wanted to give it a try.

I lifted just one shovel of dirt, enough for a picture, and then told them I was "fini."  We had lots of fun trying, but it will take a skillful person to make 100 bricks a day, which is their goal.                                

Another of our Lubumbashi RM's, Cedrick Mambuku, was working at this site as a mason.  He was proud to show Brent his work and smiled from ear to ear when praised for his clean mortar joints.  

 
Next we went to a project where they are building a new design of church. It's done in 6 phases that will accommodate a growing church population. It's much less fancy than other designs and will fit well into the Congolese life style.  Again we found some of our RM's working at this sight. What a joy it is to see them working, learning and making a future for themselves and their future families. 

                                                                                                       

 Our RM's Vumpa Vumpa, Diazola and Longandja

After the trip to the construction sites, we all had lunch in the diner room of the Hotel Royal. This is the hotel where church visitors and workers stay and is one of the few good restaurants in town.

  

After lunch we took a little trip to the arts and crafts marché.  It's a crazy place with lots of people vying for your attention and business, but the couples found a few souvenirs and had a good time. Brent swears that it's his last trip there, ever!  He hates the noise, the pressure to look, the salespeople trying to get your business, the bargaining, the heat, the dirt and just about everything about Thieves market. It's just a place that you have to visit if you come to Kinshasa. 

 

 Saturday we started the day with another  field trip. This time the Moons took us to a water project and a latrine built by the church in 2005. It's very impressive that this project is still functioning well. The well, once built and working is turned over to a "well committee" from the community. Many times they just use it until it stops working or dries up. They're supposed to have a water committee who will make sure that things are running well and repairs are made. This group has done a great job. They had somebody at the well to gather money from those using it.  It's thirty cents for two large containers of water. Some of the people complain that it's too much, but the money is used to keep the well working and is a good investment.

This well is in one of the poorest parts of the city and the poverty is staggering. Families live as if they were on a perpetual camping trip and I'm sure that they rarely leave this area to go to more affluent parts of this huge city of 12 million people. They work hard every day just to get the necessities of life for their families. 

  

The road requires four wheel drive and is quite an amazing trip.  As we continue up the road hundreds of children join our caravan. By the time we've traveled as far as the cars can go, we're surrounded by children who follow us with much laughter and excitement.

We stopped to watch them play a little game. It's a bit like jump rope, but they played with a piece of string and all jumped and chanted at the same time. They sure were having fun! Despite empty stomachs, terrible hygiene and ragged clothing, they were happy and bright spirited little ones.  

I asked a few people along the way if I could take pictures. Generally people love to have their picture taken.                                                                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                    A sweet, elderly Mama was happy to have her picture taken. She tried to talk to me, but we had no common language. She only spoke Lingala and so we had only smiles to help us as we tried to communicate our common tender feelings as grandmas.

Little people behind the fence at their home smiled and waved as we drove into the community.    

                                                                                                                              

         

                                                                                   





Little girls start early to carry water from the well to help their families as they struggle to meet their daily needs. In these circumstances everybody must work if the family is to survive. Having clean water, provided by this well, is life-saving to this little one.

A cute, young Mom and her newborn were happy to have their picture taken outside their house. Notice the dog in the background, an unusual site in the Congo.

This little boy stayed right with me the whole time that we were there. He was very proud of the fact that he knew some English.  He was so bright and beautiful . Look at the back of his shirt. It drew me to him immediately. His name is IZA, the same name as my mother. He's one of those special children that you hope will find a way out of this poverty-stricken life and do something wonderful. You could just tell that he was a smart little boy, eager to learn and do good things and had great natural leadership ability.  

After we'd been there for a few minutes the little people started to get restless and I could feel the energy getting a bit out of hand. The school teacher in me took over and I just had to have a little fun with them and get them focused.  So, I started to talk to them and did a little counting fun with them.  We counted in French, English and then they counted for me in Lingala. It's about all the communication that we can do, but it sure was fun!!

These outings emphasized our second and third aspects of love, Love for the Lord, which leads us to want to show charity to others and Love for those we serve in our mission. Nothing is more obviously a sign of  love for Heavenly Father than that they 're here serving Him and loving His children, whom we serve.                                                       

We also visited the school and a latrine that the church built for them and the little clinic in the neighborhood. It's so humbling to see how hard life is for these people.  We live in such luxury compared to them. 

Brent and the Head Master of the school.  They have 500 children who attend this school in double sessions. It's just a fraction of the children in the neighborhood, but at least education is available to some of them.  

 This little one-room clinic services the community.  It's not equipped with much, but it is some kind of medical assistance to the people of this quarter.

Two men in the quarter took it upon themselves to be our guide, hoping to get some money.  They inserted themselves into the group and we a bit of a nuisance.  At the end of the trip they got on the back of the Billing's car and wouldn't get off. Elder Billings finally had to stop the car and firmly ask them to leave us along. It was a bit unnerving to us all, but really they were just looking for money.  Hard to blame them!

On the way home for this outing we stopped at a place called Symphonie des Arts. It's got a gift shop where things are pretty pricey, so we don't buy much, but it's the prettiest place in Kinshasa. It's gardens are beautiful and lush and exotic birds roam freely on the grounds.   

                                                                                                         

 

After our outing we returned to the mission home for lunch and a fun game provided by the Billings. We had to earn a prize and everybody had a good time. Then we headed to our separate homes for a little rest and preparation for the evening together. 

 

Saturday night the Smiths hosted the couples at their home for a wonderful dinner. Sister Smith made her famous macaroni and cheese and everybody else pitched in to complete the meal.  We played a fun game that helped us to get better acquainted and mingle. Then we went up to the roof of their building for dessert. They have a beautiful view of the city and the Congo river. The weather was mild and it was a pleasant evening. Kinshasa looks great from this vantage point.

Sunday was the last day of our conference. After church we took the out-of-town couples to the site where they will build the Kinshasa Temple.  It's on a property already owned by the church. There's a stake center and a Young Adult facility located there. We had hoped to be here for the ground breaking, but that will probably not happen. At least we've stood on the spot where it will be built. 

                                                               

After the temple site visit we made one more visit to see a unique chapel that we rather irreverently call the "Nauvoo Temple."  It's a very large and beautiful chapel that, for some unexplainable reason, was built in one of the most chaotic places in Kinshasa. It doesn't fit in the neighborhood, but is a lovely building. It's a real Mormon tourist spot in Kinshasa. 

 The neighborhood

     

The Chapel 

    

That evening we all gathered one last time for dinner and a concluding fireside at the mission home. Brent taught from the scriptures. It was a tender time and the couples seemed to enjoy the spirit as we studied together. At the end  of the fireside we gave each couple a statue that we'd had made for them. They were made by an elder's quorum president in Kinshasa. It took him several months to get them all made because during that time his young sister died and then his young adult daughter drown when her boat capsized while crossing the Congo. We gave them each a copy of the picture of the carver sitting in our home with all the statues. The  statues are of priesthood holders blessing a child. Since almost all couples have a grandchild born while they're on their mission, we thought this was fitting. Even more meaningfully, we wanted the figures to  represent the blessing that senior missionaries are to the infant church in Africa. As missionaries we have the opportunity to bless the infant church using our experience, knowledge and love for those we serve.  Our Sunday evening was the perfect ending to a wonderful week with our couples.  We will treasure this unique week together as a very special memory of our mission in Kinshasa.