Kinshasa Couples' Conference Feb. 12-18, 2013

One of our great desires has been to get all the couples in our mission together just one time. They live in three different countries and four different cities.  It required two new visas, and two or three days of travel for the couple farthest from Kinshasa.  It would require a four-hour drive, then an airline flight and  a boat crossing of the Congo for one of  the couples who live in the outlying areas.  We just didn't think that it would happen and were hesitant to spend mission funds to bring them or to ask them to pay to come.  Then, the finance people in the area office asked us to have a training session for all those who do finances in our mission. That included our couples from the outlying areas. So, we had to bring the couples here and thus we planned a couples' conference in conjunction with the financial training.  We were so excited that it could happen.  All of our couples were here together for a week and for us it was a glorious time together.

Left to Right- Bybee- public affairs, Whitesides- MLS Yaoundé, Gailey- MLS Douala, Jameson,
Smith- office, Wheatley-Pointe Noire, Moon-humanitarian, Billings construction program

The  Kinshasa couples took two of the outlying area couples into their homes and helped with food and transport. We had the Whitsides stay with us. It was only possible to do this conference because of the kindness, generosity and support of the couples who welcomed the guests into their home and  transported them to everything. They were wonderful hosts.

We were on our way home from Johannesburg when the couples' financial training began. Emily Sehlolo. She's a great young lady from South Africa and did excellent training in our home.  It was a good training and we just hope that IMOS will allow us to do our finances that way, even with our less than wonderful internet band width and off-again-on again power. Training was done on Wednesday and Thursday, but the ladies played hooky on Thursday afternoon to attend to more important things, since the men were basically in charge of the finance work for which they were doing training. 

One of the things that is hardest about serving in a place like ours is finding somebody to cut, perm, color, style  your hair. Not a lot of good stylists for Caucasian hair where we live.Recently Chantal, our French friend, introduced me to Georges, the hair stylist.  So, I took the sisters from the outlying cities for an afternoon of pampering at the salon. 

 All the sisters got their hair cut and styled and they felt  like they'd had a make-over and been well pampered before their big date with their husbands at the Valentine's Day dinner. It was a fun outing that these hard working sisters really deserved and enjoyed!

Three lovely ladies ready for a night on the town. 

                           

Thursday  was Valentine's and we got our conference started as we held a Sweetheart party for all the couples in the mission home.We dressed everything up in Red and White and had a fun evening together. 

 After our special Valentine's Day meal we played the Newly Wed game.  Most of our couples have been married for more than 40 years, but two are pretty newly wed, married in the last 10 years. It didn't seem to make much difference how long we'd been married. We all knew and didn't know important things about our spouses and had a good time laughing about it. 

 It was a festive evening and a great kick off for our conference. We began our conference by focusing on one of the four aspects of LOVE, which formed the theme of our Conference. This Love of Your Companion is needed if any missionary companionship is going to succeed and must be our first priority. Nothing needs nurturing more on a mission that your love for your eternal companion. 

Friday we met early in the morning and introduced our theme of Love.  We presented the four kinds of love that are important as a missionary. We hope that our activities showed through the week these four kinds of love- Love for your companion. Love for the Lord, Love for the people we serve and Love for our mission.  I told them about some things that I heard in our mission presidents' seminar that have changed my life.  We  talked about loving our mission. They emphasized that we need to not just love it "in the rear-view mirror." We need to love it as we live it. We'll be blessed to see and treasure the good things that happen while we're still having this mission experience. It touched me and I think that we need to do the same thing in life.  Love life as we live it and not just "in the rear-view mirror."  Then I encouraged them to look for daily miracles that the Lord gives us, even to write them down daily.  If we look for them we'll see daily miracles, both large and small, that occur every day of our lives. If we can do these two things, we will Love our missions and our lives. Being together was really fun. We visited, laughed and generally enjoyed ourselves. Elder Whitesides did get a little exuberant at one point and had to be strictly gotten under control.

Then we talked about each of our assignments and a little about ourselves and those we love back home. 

After that we headed out on a field trip with the Billings, who do the construction program. We wanted to see what their special assignment is all about.  We went to a place where students are learning how to hand make bricks for future construction of church buildings. They're also building a little office and storage facility for the brick making project.
Two of our missionaries from Lubumbashi were among those who are learning skills and making progress toward having good jobs. It's such a joy to see them succeeding.



President (yes, that's his given name) Kabengele was one of the young students who helped us make bricks. He was our first assistant in Lubumbashi. Now he's married and his first child was actually born the evening of our visit to the job site.


First, he showed us how to make the brick. He made it look so simple.

 To make your brick you fill the mold with a mixture of sand and dirt and a little water. Then you tamp it down just right and then carefully lift the form making sure not to twist, turn or lean in any direction.

We saw the bricks drying in the sun and it looked like it would be easy just to fill the form, tamp it and Voila--a brick.

So,  Brent tried his hand at it.  It wasn't as easy as they made it look.

 Brent's brick turned into.... a pile of sand, and dirt.
We teased President that we hoped  we'd taught him better when he was a missionary than he'd taught us today to be a brick maker.  Several people tried their hand, but nobody succeeded.













 I finally said that I wanted to give it a try.

I lifted just one shovel of dirt, enough for a picture, and then told them I was "fini."  We had lots of fun trying, but it will take a skillful person to make 100 bricks a day, which is their goal.                                

Another of our Lubumbashi RM's, Cedrick Mambuku, was working at this site as a mason.  He was proud to show Brent his work and smiled from ear to ear when praised for his clean mortar joints.  

 
Next we went to a project where they are building a new design of church. It's done in 6 phases that will accommodate a growing church population. It's much less fancy than other designs and will fit well into the Congolese life style.  Again we found some of our RM's working at this sight. What a joy it is to see them working, learning and making a future for themselves and their future families. 

                                                                                                       

 Our RM's Vumpa Vumpa, Diazola and Longandja

After the trip to the construction sites, we all had lunch in the diner room of the Hotel Royal. This is the hotel where church visitors and workers stay and is one of the few good restaurants in town.

  

After lunch we took a little trip to the arts and crafts marché.  It's a crazy place with lots of people vying for your attention and business, but the couples found a few souvenirs and had a good time. Brent swears that it's his last trip there, ever!  He hates the noise, the pressure to look, the salespeople trying to get your business, the bargaining, the heat, the dirt and just about everything about Thieves market. It's just a place that you have to visit if you come to Kinshasa. 

 

 Saturday we started the day with another  field trip. This time the Moons took us to a water project and a latrine built by the church in 2005. It's very impressive that this project is still functioning well. The well, once built and working is turned over to a "well committee" from the community. Many times they just use it until it stops working or dries up. They're supposed to have a water committee who will make sure that things are running well and repairs are made. This group has done a great job. They had somebody at the well to gather money from those using it.  It's thirty cents for two large containers of water. Some of the people complain that it's too much, but the money is used to keep the well working and is a good investment.

This well is in one of the poorest parts of the city and the poverty is staggering. Families live as if they were on a perpetual camping trip and I'm sure that they rarely leave this area to go to more affluent parts of this huge city of 12 million people. They work hard every day just to get the necessities of life for their families. 

  

The road requires four wheel drive and is quite an amazing trip.  As we continue up the road hundreds of children join our caravan. By the time we've traveled as far as the cars can go, we're surrounded by children who follow us with much laughter and excitement.

We stopped to watch them play a little game. It's a bit like jump rope, but they played with a piece of string and all jumped and chanted at the same time. They sure were having fun! Despite empty stomachs, terrible hygiene and ragged clothing, they were happy and bright spirited little ones.  

I asked a few people along the way if I could take pictures. Generally people love to have their picture taken.                                                                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                    A sweet, elderly Mama was happy to have her picture taken. She tried to talk to me, but we had no common language. She only spoke Lingala and so we had only smiles to help us as we tried to communicate our common tender feelings as grandmas.

Little people behind the fence at their home smiled and waved as we drove into the community.    

                                                                                                                              

         

                                                                                   





Little girls start early to carry water from the well to help their families as they struggle to meet their daily needs. In these circumstances everybody must work if the family is to survive. Having clean water, provided by this well, is life-saving to this little one.

A cute, young Mom and her newborn were happy to have their picture taken outside their house. Notice the dog in the background, an unusual site in the Congo.

This little boy stayed right with me the whole time that we were there. He was very proud of the fact that he knew some English.  He was so bright and beautiful . Look at the back of his shirt. It drew me to him immediately. His name is IZA, the same name as my mother. He's one of those special children that you hope will find a way out of this poverty-stricken life and do something wonderful. You could just tell that he was a smart little boy, eager to learn and do good things and had great natural leadership ability.  

After we'd been there for a few minutes the little people started to get restless and I could feel the energy getting a bit out of hand. The school teacher in me took over and I just had to have a little fun with them and get them focused.  So, I started to talk to them and did a little counting fun with them.  We counted in French, English and then they counted for me in Lingala. It's about all the communication that we can do, but it sure was fun!!

These outings emphasized our second and third aspects of love, Love for the Lord, which leads us to want to show charity to others and Love for those we serve in our mission. Nothing is more obviously a sign of  love for Heavenly Father than that they 're here serving Him and loving His children, whom we serve.                                                       

We also visited the school and a latrine that the church built for them and the little clinic in the neighborhood. It's so humbling to see how hard life is for these people.  We live in such luxury compared to them. 

Brent and the Head Master of the school.  They have 500 children who attend this school in double sessions. It's just a fraction of the children in the neighborhood, but at least education is available to some of them.  

 This little one-room clinic services the community.  It's not equipped with much, but it is some kind of medical assistance to the people of this quarter.

Two men in the quarter took it upon themselves to be our guide, hoping to get some money.  They inserted themselves into the group and we a bit of a nuisance.  At the end of the trip they got on the back of the Billing's car and wouldn't get off. Elder Billings finally had to stop the car and firmly ask them to leave us along. It was a bit unnerving to us all, but really they were just looking for money.  Hard to blame them!

On the way home for this outing we stopped at a place called Symphonie des Arts. It's got a gift shop where things are pretty pricey, so we don't buy much, but it's the prettiest place in Kinshasa. It's gardens are beautiful and lush and exotic birds roam freely on the grounds.   

                                                                                                         

 

After our outing we returned to the mission home for lunch and a fun game provided by the Billings. We had to earn a prize and everybody had a good time. Then we headed to our separate homes for a little rest and preparation for the evening together. 

 

Saturday night the Smiths hosted the couples at their home for a wonderful dinner. Sister Smith made her famous macaroni and cheese and everybody else pitched in to complete the meal.  We played a fun game that helped us to get better acquainted and mingle. Then we went up to the roof of their building for dessert. They have a beautiful view of the city and the Congo river. The weather was mild and it was a pleasant evening. Kinshasa looks great from this vantage point.

Sunday was the last day of our conference. After church we took the out-of-town couples to the site where they will build the Kinshasa Temple.  It's on a property already owned by the church. There's a stake center and a Young Adult facility located there. We had hoped to be here for the ground breaking, but that will probably not happen. At least we've stood on the spot where it will be built. 

                                                               

After the temple site visit we made one more visit to see a unique chapel that we rather irreverently call the "Nauvoo Temple."  It's a very large and beautiful chapel that, for some unexplainable reason, was built in one of the most chaotic places in Kinshasa. It doesn't fit in the neighborhood, but is a lovely building. It's a real Mormon tourist spot in Kinshasa. 

 The neighborhood

     

The Chapel 

    

That evening we all gathered one last time for dinner and a concluding fireside at the mission home. Brent taught from the scriptures. It was a tender time and the couples seemed to enjoy the spirit as we studied together. At the end  of the fireside we gave each couple a statue that we'd had made for them. They were made by an elder's quorum president in Kinshasa. It took him several months to get them all made because during that time his young sister died and then his young adult daughter drown when her boat capsized while crossing the Congo. We gave them each a copy of the picture of the carver sitting in our home with all the statues. The  statues are of priesthood holders blessing a child. Since almost all couples have a grandchild born while they're on their mission, we thought this was fitting. Even more meaningfully, we wanted the figures to  represent the blessing that senior missionaries are to the infant church in Africa. As missionaries we have the opportunity to bless the infant church using our experience, knowledge and love for those we serve.  Our Sunday evening was the perfect ending to a wonderful week with our couples.  We will treasure this unique week together as a very special memory of our mission in Kinshasa.  

Thank Heavens for Good Medical Care

After a month of fighting illness, we decided that we really weren't going to get my high blood pressure issue solved in DRC.  The thing that we needed to find out is if the high blood pressure was a symptom of something more serious or just the problem itself.  So, we determined to cancel a trip to Cameroon, send Brent's counselor to stand in his stead at the District Conference there and go to Johannesburg. We left the world of DRC and headed for the  modern world of South Africa.

We arrived on Friday night and were met by the area medical adviser  Dr. Hoffman and by the area Executive Secretary, Elder Curtis, with whom we were to stay.  They were so kind and helpful. Dr. Hoffman had already set up an appointment with Dr. Milne, a local Dr. and Bishop for Sat. morning.  So first thing Saturday morning we were at the Doctor's office getting all kinds of tests done-blood work, EKG, stress test, etc.  Then we had to just wait until Tues for the results.  Then it was wait some more to see if the new medication would do its job.  We could do some of our work while there, but there was also a lot of down time and we must admit that we enjoyed the 2013 lifestyle of S. Africa while we waited.
We attended church on Sunday in a ward in what you would call the suburbs of JoBurg. It was a beautiful building. It was as nice as any building I've ever seen in all the world and beautifully maintained. The area around the chapel was much like a walled community in Arizona.  There were nice homes and many of the people were Afrikaners, descendants of the Dutch who originally settled South Africa. Many still prefer to speak in Afrikaans, which is a language close to Dutch, but that has been changed through the years of isolation for original Dutch. Language is interesting all over Africa. You can hear conversations going on in two or three languages at a time almost anyplace you go.

Because we were in waiting mode we had time to enjoy the company of the couples in Duke's court.  What an amazing place Duke's court is. There are 21 senior area office couples and 17 temple couples who live there. It's lovingly called  "Helaman Halls South for seniors."  They work hard during the day and at night and on weekends they have a whole lot of fun
We stayed in the lovely apartment of Elder and Sister Curtis. They are the area executive and assistant executive secretary to the Area Presidency.
They treated us with such kindness and made our stay a pleasure.

 Sister Curtis and I had a lot of fun together. We stirred up yummy things in the kitchen.

                                                                                                                                       We worked on baby throws to take to a maternity hospital and since both of us are "compulsive finishers' we got a lot done. We even got some from the non-crafters and finished them for them.  We talked about all the good places to shop, talked about family traditions and holiday fun we had with grandkids. They have 22 grandkids.  We just generally enjoyed being together. Brent and Elder Curtis were not sure by the end of our visit that they wanted to leave us alone together. She and I could have been a dangerous pair if allowed too much time together.  Brent and Elder Curtis just grimaced when we told them that we had an idea.  

  Elder Curtis and Brent also enjoyed each other and had much in common. Being in their home was a true pleasure. We couldn't have asked for a better place to stay. 

We had dinner at the homes of the Hoffmans, the Curtises and the Larsens, who is part of the area legal team.

Dinner at Hoffmans

Dinner at the Larsen home with them and Petersons, Humanitarian missionaries

We went shopping for things to take back with us. Killarney Mall is a great little place to find things. They have everything, clothing stores, pharmacies, shoe stores, grocery stores and it's right across the street from Dukes court. There are restaurants and a post office.  We even went to see "Les Misérables" one afternoon.  You can do just about anything at Killarney Mall.

We spent an afternoon at Bryanson's Organic Market. It's an open air boutique held at a school in Bryanson. 

 We bought a great African basket and a table cloth that I've been eyeing since our first visit there over two years ago. Both are treasures. 

  We spent a great deal of time in the Area office. We always get so many things done there when we meet face to face with Area workers.  

Since Elder Soares is now in SLC as one of the seven presidents of the 70, we were graciously offered the chance to work in his office. 

Reception at the Area Office. I love the statue of the Family

Our office away from home. It sure is a nice place that they loan us. 

  We have come to know, work with often and love many of these people. We enjoy the chance to be with them whenever we go to Johannesburg.  We somethings think that we'd love to go to a S. Africa area office reunion when we get home to see the couples that we've worked with and learned to love.

Joy Bester, area travel office worker.

                               Hatches, Public Affairs missionaries                                    Knudsens, Historical Missionaries

                                                           Danila  Jordan, Elder Renlund's secretary 

Diane Brear, Secretary to the Area Presidency 

  

Marius von Mullendorf, Materials Management                                             Rob Milne, security 

Graham Walker, our friend the IT guy.

We were sad that the temple was closed while we were there, but still loved to see it every time we entered the Area office grounds.

I spent a morning shopping with Sister Reber, the wife of the MTC president. We visited one of the many Oriental markets in the city.  They have things made in China that are interesting and inexpensive.  She was looking for clothing to have on hand for the missionaries who come on their mission with very little.  She bought half a dozen belts, some ties, pants, etc. for those who come without the needed items.  We also had dinner with the Rebers and several other couples one evening. They are great people and we were happy to spend time with them. 

She and I got a little lost and had a nice tour of the city. Johannesburg is a beautiful city. It feels like one is back in the US and I enjoyed a little driving around since we had the time to do it and weren't so lost that we were worried about finding our way back home again. There's a lovely skyline of the city that you can see from the freeway.  

                                       

                                                   There are beautiful tree lined streets in communities all over the Johannesburg area and it's just a gorgeous place to drive, even while a bit lost.   A big, bright  pink ball on top of a tower can be seen from all over the Johannesburg area. If you just follow the ball, you find the Area offices. It 's a good guide for wanderers.

                                                                     

While in JoBurg we were able to spend some time with the Robinsons. They had begun their mission in Kinshasa and because of health concerns had been transferred to the Johannesburg temple.  It was wonderful to see them again. Sadly, her health issues were not sufficiently resolved to allow them to stay on their mission. It was a special blessing to be able to spend a little time with them before they headed back to the States. We're grateful for a few more visits and wish them the best as they return to Wyoming.

Another little drive to an outlying area led us to Cabona and Sons African Arts. It was another great place to find African things. They had skins of all kinds of animals, and lots of other African gifts.  We did succumb to several things. One was an elephant hair and silver bracelet.  I've admired them for all our years in Africa, so, I was thrilled to finally buy one. 

                  

 Another day of our time in S. Africa was spent in the Milpark Hospital ER. Not such a fun day, but it was needed and we got the treatment that was required.

   

 Finally, after 12 days of tests,waiting for results, treatment, etc. we headed back to Kinshasa. Our couples' conference there had started without us. They'd done a day of training with the financial advisers by the time we got home. So we were happy to be back, feeling better and ready for the wonderful week with all our couples. We're very grateful that good medical care is just a plane trip way. It was reassuring to us and to the other seniors that if needed, we could get help in Johannesburg.  But we're very glad to go back to work. Our time in Africa is getting short and we need every minute!

Visiting George, the Congolese Hair stylist

After more than three years in the Congo, I finally gave in to my hair needs, put aside my fears and had my hair done.  It turned out much better, and shorter, than I thought it would.  But I'm now confident that I can get it done here and it will look better than when I cut it myself.  Thanks to my good friend, Chantal, who helped me find George, the stylist. His shop is in the basement of a hotel. The tools of the trade are a bit different here, lots of black hair for extensions, many creams and oils, straightening irons, braiding tools and big needles to sew on hair.

I took a picture that I'd taken off of TV . When he styled it I looked like a q-tip, but when I got home and worked with it, I think that he did it pretty close to what I wanted. It's a bit short, but then it grows fast, so that's not a problem.  I will be going back to see George.  I'm happy to have found a place to have my hair done. Cutting your own hair is not so much fun!.